Happy Birthday

Andy's about two drinks away from falling face first on the peanut shell floor.

Happy Birthday brother!

Dinner

Food of the gods.

W W U D?

What Would a Unicorn Do?

Giving this as an Xmas gift in a bit, and I thought I'd let you know what some of the choices are.

-Race the wind
-Nuzzle a newborn
-Believe in Miracles
-Prance through a waterfall
-Majestically gallop
-Whinny & rear
-Pose on a windy cliff
-Frolic in a meadow
-Chase a rainbow
-Leap across a ravine
-Impale evil things
-Graze on honeysuckle

Weird. These are all thing I'd do.

A Day in The Life of Bryan (12/22/07)

Editors note: This is completely in its raw entirety, without any omissions or edits. Reader discretion is advised.

Incognizant

meaning: without knowledge or awareness; unaware

-Fact i signed the paper
-Fact it first read "Cryan Feraghty"
-Fact it was changed

at that moment i was very much 'incognizant'... i am on day 10 in a row workin. i didnt know what i was doing at the time i signed the paper, but i am payin for it tonight at work.

i came into work after dinner to disinfect my unit, i mean, clinic, and change out light bulbs.



while changing the bulbs out, the fixture (above) came off and carshed into my head. and of course this happened.



yes. 2 weeks in a row i have managed to cut my head open and have it bleed.

thank the lord i work at a clinic and im able to steal- i mean borrow supplys and clean my wound with alcohol pads, 2"X2" sponges, and tape.

alcohol pads + 2"X2" sponges +tape =



so, i ask my self, "is this cuz i gave up my soul or cuz im stuck in a rut the last few weeks?"

the answer is simple.

"Jason, i want my soul back"

Editors note: This reminds me of something.

"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"

Unlike our Russian comrade, I don't cave into demands. Sorry Bryan. Your pleas fall on deaf ears.

So Hip Right Now

Forgot to post this-- found this at work..

Homecomings and Soul Stealing

I had a lovely dinner tonight with my pal Ryan (of Chicago fame) and his lovely lady Nicole (or is it Nichole?). Ryan's down for a week and I finally got to catch up with the guy over some greasy Mexican food.

Man of the Hour...


And her reaction.


I guess you could call this an inside joke. With an inside man.


Before we left I tricked Bryan into signing his soul away to me. Despite everyone's pleas not to do so, he simply handed it over.


And the subsequent texts afterwards.


Sorry, Bryan. You just sold- no, you just gave it away. It's mine to keep unless bartered for. Didn't you learn anything from Bart?

We'll see what you offer me, and then I'll take a poll here on the blog. Until then, I'm waiting for your weekly story that's late. Again.

Guess Who?

Catfish Sighting

SCP FFP #1

South Coast Plaza Fashion Faux Pas

Bruce Says

"Merry Christmas!"

Wait, What?

You're kidding, right?

I Didn't Start The Fire

"Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television, North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe".

On the way to the Goodwill (for some attire to wear to a 90s party), the car that I was driving combusted into flames. JT took off running, while I ran into a business and took their extinguisher to put out the rising flames. It actually was pretty funny that we came that close to blowing up. All of it felt like slow motion, and for some reason this song was playing in my head.

One of the firefighters commended me for making such quick decisions, and went on to say that if I'd have been a few minutes late the car would have been completely engulfed.

I should have got a sticker.

Toasty

I absolutely love coming home to this- I leave it on all day. I've
even put a heater underneath the tv

Feliz Cumpleanos

Happy Birthday K-K-Katie!

The Many Faces

In light of Bryan falling off his beloved fixed gear, I've decided to give him his own dedication post. Did you know Bryan plays center for a professional basketball team? He also has a killer part in the new Lakai video.

He's also going to be contributing a piece every Friday- so look out for that. He's telling me that his first story will explain the gash on his head. I can hardly wait.

Until then, enjoy the following.

aka



aka



EDIT 12/16

Here is the Bryan story I promised you, in all of its unedited glory.

If you cant tell from the last photo i have a nice gash on my head.



lets start at the begining...

last night i had to work late at a clinic close to my home. i've been getting into fixies made me wanna ride my bike to work, so i did.

i sent my friend Anthony a text to meet me at work so we could hang out and ride during the down time. later during my break, me and tony head out to the parking lot and ride, and pulled off some sweet skids. doing no handies, one footers over the handle bars, and anything else we could think of. We were both riding well. so when it was time to clock out and head home i was feeing great. i felt like i couldnt be stopped, i was a skid champ at this point.

when it was time for me to turn on Rimpau st and head down the hill towards my house, i told myself "im going to hit this fast and hard and knock out some down hill skids" like the ones i see on youtube. i start off doing great. had some 15 footers and 20 footers.

im about a hundred yards from my house and at this point im going full speed and i try to pull one more long skid off and before i knew it im on the floor looking up. and what do i see flying towards my head??? my bike. thats right. it flew into the air and landed on my face.

so when i got home i took my beanie off and a few minutes it hit me. im fucking bleeding. so today when i was getting ready for work i felt all the pain. my left wrist doesnt really work well. i cant even use pressure with it. the hands are all cut up, and i got a few cuts on my legs.

oh not to mention my handle bars are now bent.



jason asked me what i learned from this, if anything at all.

nothing, jason. absolutely nothing.

- Bryan

Warehouse Cameo #2

Says Paul.

I Beat The Man

...and got tickets to KROQs Almost Acoustic Xmas.

Look What The Cat Dragged In

I've got this friend who I have to take to the airport on Saturday night. He's got a court appearance in Indiana on Monday morning, and I'm sure all of you would like to know why. Since it's raining, what the hell. Let's tell a story.

A few weeks ago my friend Cryan (name changed for privacy reasons) flew out to Chicago for business, and met our mutual friend Salamander (name also changed) for a football game at a neighboring college. Most of you who have been to sporting events know that before the games, people tailgate. Food, drinks-- nothing but good times with good people. Unfortunatly, Sal wasn't of age to consume alcohol yet, and was caught taking a beer from Cryan by five (or was it six?) undercover cops dressed as students. According to Cryan, "the beer hadn't even touched his hand when they came out of the bushes. The f'ing bushes, Jason. Who does that?"

All the while, other under aged individuals are passing out drunk in front of the other officers. Amid the obvious California profiling, the fuzz hardly batted an eye at the other obviously underage drinkers. Unfortunate.

What can we learn from this? For starters, if you're from California and happen to find yourself in the Midwest, don't wear what you'd normally put on. Instead, wear an Abercrombie collared shirt (preferably with stripes), denim shorts, birkenstocks or running shoes, a choker necklace, and a dirty baseball cap with a deep curve in the brim. And wear it to the side. Did I just describe Mike Dogger? Just kidding Mike. I love you. And Michigan.

Moral of the story- Don't assume that there aren't undercovers in the bushes, because before you know it you're on the red eye from LAX to O'Hare. Yuck. That leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

That's what she said.

Yes!!!!

Just came in! Thanks Nick!

Goodbye.

"Dr. Creepster, is Lucky going to be ok?"

I thought I was hallucinating when I saw the doctor's pants melt into what's either a portion of a table or some sort of metallic urine leaking from Lucky.

I especially like the wavy black lines conveying the movement of arms in this illustration.

You Unlock This Door...

Frightening sight of myself in a Mrs. Fields display.

I HAVE PROOF!

My buddy from high school Jahi stopped by the office today, two hours before he leaves "wherever the wind takes me, you know?"

We almost crossed paths in New York and then Baltimore, but it never quite worked out. Finally after about five years (and randomly running into one of our mutual friends in Las Vegas), Ja and J have reunited. And I have proof!

View From My Office

For You And I

Native Lunch

We're here for lunch at Native Foods, and Nick (his first time) spent
about half an hour at the register trying to decide what he wanted to eat.

The result? A salad. Awesome, Nick. Awesome.

Dinner

Travis

Most. Intense. Entrance. Ever.

Bear Grylls

Is insane.

"Like a big prawn that's been sitting around for weeks, that's all shell and rotting guts."

Sushi Tuesdays

We ditched El Torito and opted for sushi on our Tuesdays instead. If you don't know already, this is Jon B., our resident food specialist. He takes All You Can Eat to a different realm.

And there are congrats in order for Jon's brother, Matt. Looooook who's got a Fallen ad!

For Late Night Workers

Haute Cuisine. Vive la France!

So Veg Right Now

Pumpkin soup and stuffing. I'll let you figure out which is which.

Chris Would Love This

I rode Splash Mountain last night (bad idea) and saw this on my way out.

Unfortunately, my iPhone camera didn't quite capture the MIG's flying past Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox.

Steal

Five bucks? Are you kidding?!

Tuesdays With Seymour

Last night I attended a lecture with Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Seymour Hersh. Captivating, to say the least.

I wasn't quite sure as to why there were several armed police officers patrolling the grounds. Maybe it was to ensure that we were all properly fingerprinted and photographed . Years from now I'll wonder why I never got that one job...only kidding.

I've had my reservations with Mr. Hersh coming into the lecture. Primarily questions about how he gets his sources, and if his latest dramatic writings do in fact reflect the state of our country. Not only did he dispel my skepticism, he also gave me new insight as to what I think of the world today.

If you clicked on the link I posted with his name above, you'll notice (or may have already known) his exposure of the My Lai Massacre in Vietnam. He explained in his lecture that the soldiers that took part in the killings weren't bad people (he rally emphasized that), but instead young men put in a position where they are no longer human beings but machines. "They're on the buddy system over there," he said. "When you put someone in a position where several of his buddies were ambushed and killed, that person is going to want kill something- someone. It's just human nature, you know, revenge." He went on to say that he did not defend what these soldiers did, and admitted they were horrible acts that they had to be held accountable for. He's just saying that they aren't bad people.

Hersh used My Lai as a stepping stone to bridge the similarities with that war, and the war we're currently fighting. He wrote a very emotional piece regarding the prison at Abu Gharaib. I'll let you search for that yourself if you decide to, but be warned. It is very disturbing.

He told us a story last night about how his highly decorated friend in the Jewish military (who "hates Plaestinians and Arabs") told him that as much as he hates Arabs, they would never humiliate them by sexual assault. I'll keep this short, but Hersh describes the prison as having Arabs (young and old) left nude in their cells when it's written explicitly in the Qur'an about the teachings of nudity. Basically, it's an deep insult that we're leaving them like that, and Hersh's friend says we'll be paying for these atrocities. "Take their eye, arm, leg off, but do not humiliate them sexually."

Hersh emphasized that what we're going to see in the wake of this war is "a wave of very troubled" individuals. He reported that not only is the military handing out sleep aid Ambien, but now distributing anti-depressant Zoloft, much to the dismay of the crowd.

I'll let you decide on your own how you feel about these pressing issues, or you can just ignore that they are there. Someone asked, "Seymour, is there any hope?"

"Of course there's hope," he exclaimed.

"Read more, think more. There is definitely hope."

Feisty

It's pretty late, and I'm beat from the Feist concert- so I'll post pics in a few hours. For now, you get a random GSI (Google Searched Image. Bam! I just made that up. Go with it).

Before I go to bed, let me just say that Leslie Feist has one of the most beautiful and serene voices I've ever been in concert of. Aside from her singing, her normal voice is KOST 103.5 passable.

If I could, I would run to a faraway with her vocal chords and make sweet offspring. Yes, with her vocal chords.

I'd have little J's with angelic voices. The rest of her body is welcome to join if it pleases.

But back to Feist..Her music is very exceptional (yes, she's got more than "That Apple Song"), and seeing her live verifies, at least to me, how gifted she is not only vocally, but lyrically as well.

Unfair

This is exactly why we can't hold construction men in the same esteem as firefighters.

They couldn't have stamped a stereotype any harder than they did with these toys. Reminds me of that Simpsons episode...

Homer: They turned the Navy into a floating joke. They ruined all our best names like Bruce and Lance and Julian. Those were the toughest names we had! Now they're just...
John: Queer?
Homer: Yeah, and that's another thing! I resent you people using that word. That's our word for making fun of you! We need it!

And in trying to search for that tiny screenshot, I was led to this.

Rosco: I want all of you to say hello to the Simpsons.
Steel Mill Workers: Halloooooww!
Homer: Has the whole world gone insane?
Guy: Stand still, there's a spark in your hair!
Guy #2: Get it, get it!
Guy #3: Hot stuff, comin' through