I've got this friend who I have to take to the airport on Saturday night. He's got a court appearance in Indiana on Monday morning, and I'm sure all of you would like to know why. Since it's raining, what the hell. Let's tell a story.
A few weeks ago my friend Cryan (name changed for privacy reasons) flew out to Chicago for business, and met our mutual friend Salamander (name also changed) for a football game at a neighboring college. Most of you who have been to sporting events know that before the games, people tailgate. Food, drinks-- nothing but good times with good people. Unfortunatly, Sal wasn't of age to consume alcohol yet, and was caught taking a beer from Cryan by five (or was it six?) undercover cops dressed as students. According to Cryan, "the beer hadn't even touched his hand when they came out of the bushes. The f'ing bushes, Jason. Who does that?"
All the while, other under aged individuals are passing out drunk in front of the other officers. Amid the obvious California profiling, the fuzz hardly batted an eye at the other obviously underage drinkers. Unfortunate.
What can we learn from this? For starters, if you're from California and happen to find yourself in the Midwest, don't wear what you'd normally put on. Instead, wear an Abercrombie collared shirt (preferably with stripes), denim shorts, birkenstocks or running shoes, a choker necklace, and a dirty baseball cap with a deep curve in the brim. And wear it to the side. Did I just describe Mike Dogger? Just kidding Mike. I love you. And Michigan.
Moral of the story- Don't assume that there aren't undercovers in the bushes, because before you know it you're on the red eye from LAX to O'Hare. Yuck. That leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
That's what she said.
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