Monday, April 14, 2008

Well, You've Got Two Days To Live, But At Least You've Got an Awesome Beard

Yesterday was supposed to be just another lovely and warm day in California. It ended up being an exhausted and Vicodin prescribed one. Let's recap..

6:15 Hungry. Everyone decides for a trip down to the Thai Star.



Anthony picking his meal.


That door to the left with the gloryhole on it? Yeah, we tricked Ashleigh that the restrooms were in there. Sucker.


She was so embarrassed she wouldn't let her picture be taken.


Curry or noodles? Noodles or curry? Let's go with both.



6:26 Awesome! They even have the game one!

Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal time! Yee-haw!




6:49 In a somewhat ominous move, I grab Bryan's shoulder and dig into the socket as Garret Anderson drops a routine fly ball. He hunches over and winces. Little did we know..

Anthony shows me the greatest business card ever. Found it in a donut shop. Cool.


7:45 Drop them off at Bryan's car to head over to the Subhumans show. After 20 min of coercing, they convince Ashleigh and Alena that going to the show tonight probably wouldn't be the best idea. This would pay off later.

10:18 Ugh. Ducks lose. Angels lose. I want to get out of the house, so I round 'em all up and drive to the gas station for some refreshments.

10:38 Pass by Showcase and see a bunch of coppers sitting some punkers down on a curb. Are our friends in the mix? A text goes out but is unanswered. Hmm. Maybe.

10:55 Decide to head to Riverside to get some old fashioned heebie jeebie scares out of the Arlington Cemetary. Not exactly what I thought I'd be doing on a Saturday night, but hey it beats doing this.

11:04 Get the call from Tony.

"Dude we're in the hospital."
"Are you guys at Regional?"
"No. We're actually at Kaiser."
"Whoa! I'm passing Park Sierra right now. Be there in two."


In a twist of fate, the Brotherhood Beacon of Intuition kicked in and subconsciously I knew that we needed to be in Riverside, just as I had been asking myself why we were there in the first place. I could be sleeping. I could be checking my fantasy baseball team. Coincidentally I received the call as I was driving past the hospital.

Apparently it hurt so bad he had to be wheeled in.


After hitting on the examining nurse, things were looking on the up. Hey man, how you feeling?


Jen, with one N, is obviously very worried...


...until she remembers that on April 29th, Ben & Jerry's is having Free Cone Day!


12:38 Quote of the night.

"Deeed heee get drunnnk?"
-Random girl holding a child (see pic below) asking me what was wrong with him. Apparently she thought that since he was white, in a wheelchair, and had a grisly beard that the reason he was being admitted so late at night in urgent care was because of intoxication.

The whole night the girls weird older brother kept fiddling in his chair and giving really rude and nasty looks at women walking down the hallways. We figure he works at Verizon.


1:56 Whew. Finally he's out. Nothing broken- just a major contusion in his shoulder and concussion like symptoms. The verdict? Three days off, at least. Oh, and a prescription to Vicodin.

As Bryan finally came out of the doctor's exam room, we noticed a Latino version of Abraham Lincoln.


So I'm sure you're wondering what happened in the first place. Well, according to witnesses, some crazy Nazi dude with boots jumped off the balcony and landed on our bearded friend. Not only did he lose consciousness, but he couldn't remember where he was, why he was there, where his car keys and wallet were, and where he parked his car. Those of you who know Bryan are aware that only in serious situations would he ask to be taken to the hospital, and in this case he wisely did.

Two trips to the hospital in less than four days is pretty impressive, but definitely not something we want to get used to.

Send your well wishes over to the Bry-Guy, he's gonna have a few days off doing nothing but sipping soup out of a straw and watching bad afternoon television. In lieu of flowers, donate to The Mason Jar Fund for Enlightenment.

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